To My Lord and Master Julius Malema
My Lord
It's me, your loyal servant. I wish to sincerely apologize for burdening you by writing this letter and adding to your busy schedule. My King, I understand that your schedule, as President of the ANCYL, consists of such important work as busying yourself with sniffing out for those forces of darkness who are baying for your blood; spying on journalists who sleep around with politicians in exchange for information, and ending your week with a huge party where you go down in a circle of women.
Remember, those women you always tease me about, that I must not even look at them because they want someone who can buy them nice things. I know and respect all this, my Lord, and I beg for your indulgence to convey the urgent message from your people, the general membership of the ANCYL.
They have requested me, as your loyal servant, to tell you that they are disappointed and livid with the latest revelations that you own so much wealth and assets as their President, whilst they live in extreme poverty and squalor. I tried to tell them, as your obedient servant, that you have worked very hard for what you have. But they would hear none of it as they say you and hard work are an antithesis, as attested to by your matric results.
They have ordered me to tell you my lord that they are going to nationalize your wealth and assets. I protested that only mines will be nationalized, as you ordered my king. But they said the watch that you wear, the one I always kiss when ever I see you, as a sign of respect to you my king, they say it costs about R 250 000. They say once its nationalized, the proceeds made out of it would go to the education of about 10 students to go and study medicine so that they can add on the small number of doctors in rural provinces like Limpopo.
They also promised to nationalize your Range Rover Sports car. I also protested here that they can't, because when ever I wash it, you always let me sleep in it for a while, just to feel the comfort of its luxury which far exceeds that of my own house, as you once reminded me.
But my lord, they say with the nationalization and proceeds of this Range Rover, which is worth far much more, about 50 African students will be sent to top universities and technikons to be educated in such important fields as engineering and technology so that they are able to run the mines once you nationalize them.
My King, they are also resolute to nationalize your Austin Martin! At this stage I cringed, knowing very well that you wouldn't even let me touch it as it may get scratched by my ugly rags, as you once said. You even fondly call it Juju Babe Jnr. But they say the proceeds made from it will help educate more than a hundred students in the field of economics and accounting so that we can have more Africans in the economic cluster in government, as you demanded.
I angrily reminded them my lord, that you had built a school for your poor community in Limpopo. But my king they say that was a publicity stunt and false, opportunistic solidarity with the poor. The objective was to get praises from president Zuma to endorse your credentials for future candidature.
My Lord, your masses also asked me to warn you against dropping names of the institutions of our hard won democracy, such as intelligence agency, to intimidate political opponents. They say what you are doing has a serious potential to damage the integrity of our democratic state, and consequently eroding the confidence of our people and many sections of our society in our democratically elected government.
Your Highness, they further told me, as your loyal servant, to tell you that their silence must not be manipulated by you and your lieutenants, issuing statements that misrepresent their views for purposes of defending your hypocritical behaviour. I protested that but My Lord is an African son of a single mother who was a domestic worker. But they lashed out at me saying you have used that condition to amass wealth for yourself instead of ensuring broad based distribution of wealth.
Your Majesty, your masses say they have observed with utter disgust your call for the removal of the ANC SG, comrade Gwede Mantashe, whilst on the other hand you and your lieutenants insult and castigate anyone discussing the necessity to replace you as president of the ANCYL. They opine that their views as ordinary membership are distorted and vulgarized to achieve narrow factional interests.
Your Highness, they also say you have arrogated to yourself the worst forms of anarchy and dictatorship that can only ruin the ANCYL. When some of our leaders in the past displayed these tendencies, they continue, we revolted against them and eventually removed them.
We did that because, continued they, the ANC must at all times exude the most democratic forms of leadership and must always behave in ways that reflect the kind of society we seek to create, a democratic, non-racial, non-sexist and a developmental state. They say you my lord have violated all of these important and strategic objectives of our movement. Be warned Your Highness!
They say the ANCYL rank and file has been reduced into a cult worshiping and uncritical mass that must laugh and cheer at every jibe dished out by you my lord. The critical engagement in the structures of the ANCYL has been replaced by fear generated by those who have become the landlords of the ANCYL appointed by his majesty you, my king, Lord Julius Malema.
My Lord, I told them I for one will die for you. But my king they simply encouraged me to go and die in your black C63 AMG Mercedes Benz which, for them, symbolizes a coffin. At this stage I decided that if I cannot convince the masses, I might as well join them. So next time when you pass by speeding with your Austin Martin, don't be surprised my king, when I show you the finger. It will not be an insult or sign of disrespect to you my former king, but a sign for you to watch out for your masses, as you may run them over, or them politically bury you.
Yours in Struggle (or should I say in Scramble?),
Mzukisi Makatse
Your Formerly Loyal Servant
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Comments
Good skit.
By the way, I think you mean "Aston Martin"...
by c on February 25 2010, 21:41
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This is a well written piece of satire/ Hits the nail on the head in so many ways.
My Lord... you have forsaken democracy and the promise of a unified nation for your own benefits. Why forsake us oh Lord? Why teach us to hate the whites, to despise . .more
by Sibongile on February 25 2010, 21:58
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Brlliant!
by Mary on February 25 2010, 22:04
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Brilliant. So good to know that there are others who see, feel, breathe the corruption and abuse of power and position to the detriment of the whole.
by Ekenj on February 25 2010, 22:42
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The apathetic voters are awakening I thank the Heavens.
Most pleasing is that Satire is alive and well as it is such a potent medium for criticism.
Congratulations and write more - please !
by old, female on February 26 2010, 05:52
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Spot on ....
by Five on February 26 2010, 07:23
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I have a problem with people who create an impression that being successful is bad. Poor people always complain , but once one of their own makes it up the ladder, they are the first to player hate, and shout no to success. How dare you expect Julius one . .more
by napsy on February 26 2010, 08:08
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Malema is our president, period. Live with that,we will remove him when & if we want. in the south african politics, he remains one of the political leaders. His views, status got nothing to do with you cos vele u dnt care abt same govt that allows u to . .more
by SB Mthembu on February 26 2010, 08:44
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Great piece utilising satire to show what a bigot, racist, bully, hypocrite Malema is ... qaphela boetie ... you are not invincible and your ego and lies will bring you down when your black brothers realise that you are just a fat little school ground . .more
by Satire to Reality on February 26 2010, 09:39
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Dude, catch a wake up, you really think he sives a toss about you, you P******* lamb to the slaughter!
by Africa's Answer on February 26 2010, 10:09
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Howcome we always find some blacks who respond with racist views? The issue is about a person who abused his power to become rich. And then he acts as if he cares about the poor. If Julie boy is making millions in the private sector, I am sure that . .more
by The Patriot on February 26 2010, 10:53
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You poor deluded fools!
by Alto on February 26 2010, 12:21
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How did you manage to make sense S B Mthembu's nonsense? I couldn't make out what he was trying to say.
by Jef on February 26 2010, 18:59
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As a young South African,well born a free man like Malema silima,I don't think our fathers secrifised their lives for the kindom of malemafobians.THE MAN IS NOT HERE 2 REPRESENT US AS THE YOUTH OF THE REPUBLIC ,BUT HE IS FAT CAT TRYING TO GATHER WEALTH 4 . .more
by ced OSBORNE on February 28 2010, 10:44
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An excellent piece of satire hitting so many truths on the head!!
Well done Mzukisi!!
by MeanLean on March 02 2010, 07:07
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This guy is becoming more like Zuma every day, you are creating a view that the ANC YL is about cash and money, Its time we the members need put you in your place, Its not the ANC YL, its Malema, please dont take this wrong way, but he is not what the . .more
by Mzwandile on March 02 2010, 10:58
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when will all this end? i want to be loyal to the organization that brought us freedom, but those who lead are sending scary signs! are we going to be another african failure because of a few greedy people!
by Dudu on March 06 2010, 13:21
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If we look at history... kingdoms and empires that has risen and fallen, surely we can now believe that this is a law of nature, that nothing last forever, especially for those who who do not seek the light.
Julius, your time will come, you will stand . .more
by white dude on March 11 2010, 01:26
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Without giving importance to a seeming to revenge and jealousy informed article by responding ot it let me just say one sentence: You are not speaking on behalf of my branch which will, for your info, support Malema second term as President. This is part . .more
by Thembinkosi Zondi (Ukzn Post grad and ANCLY branch Sec) on March 16 2010, 13:56
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