PRESIDENT Jacob Zuma has until Wednesday to officially respond to the damning allegations contained in Public Protector Thuli Madonsela's report on the security upgrades at his Nkandla home.
At the time of writing there was no indication what Zuma will be telling Parliament about the scandal that has been described by one veteran political commentator as being "more outrageous and despicable by far" than both Watergate and Muldergate.
Which is a good thing as far as the more sporting of the Mahogany Ridge regulars are concerned; they've opened a book on what could happen in the coming week.
There's even money, for example, that the Presidency, the Cabinet security cluster, and the ruling party will request and be granted more time to "process" the contents of Madonsela's comprehensive report. Like until after the elections.
Fancy your chances on Zuma apologising and begging forgiveness for having embarrassed the country with his shameless greed and amorality and announcing the terms in which he will repay the estimated R16.8-million he owes for the swimming pool, kraal and chicken run, and the non-security-related what-have-you? Odds have been pegged at 500 to one.
Another outside possibility is that MPs will gather on Tuesday and, instead of responding to Madonsela's findings, Zuma will remind the National Assembly that it is April Fool's Day and then sing about his mshini being a bit on the warm side. Odds here are 250 to one.
Chances are good, however, that elements of the construction sector who colluded with various corrupt mid-level civil servants will take the rap for the scandal.
Odds here have shortened to five to two now that the SA Communist Party's Jeremy Cronin, muttering darkly about "rent-seeking" behaviour and "crony capitalism", has alluded to this sort of unscrupulous behaviour in a recent article for the SACP's Umsebenzi Online.
It does beggar belief, though, that a naive government could be taken to the cleaners to the extent that a R27-million upgrade mushroomed into a R250-million publicity disaster.
Madonsela has described this as an "unconscionable" over-run - yet no-one involved in the project bothered to ask any questions.
Zuma did, though. He must have. But not those sort of questions. "The principal", as he was referred to in the report, received many updates from his architect on the extensive upgrades at his home. He paid several visits to the work site. He issued instructions about the changes he wanted.
And all the while he never once noticed the extravagance around him?
But, being the clever communist, Cronin didn't dwell too long on such matters and was soon expressing concern with what he termed the "problematic aspects [with Madonsela's] media-reliant stage-managing" of her report's release.
"Most interest in this report obviously has to do with whose particular homestead Nkandla happens to be," he wrote. "That's inevitable. Opposition political parties are seeking (why wouldn't they?) to personalise Nkandla in a narrowly reductive way for electoral purposes. Much media commentary has followed suit, producing a tabloid tale of hero and villain, David and Goliath."
You see? Those narrowly reductive ways? How clever of Cronin to understand that, at heart, politicians are base opportunists who take advantage of their opponents' misfortunes.
As for grubby journalists? Well, here again is that rare insight. Consider how Cronin deftly picked up that hero/villain trope. It was, admittedly, a bit unsophisticated and one dimensional of us and yet another indictment of our shallow, middlebrow trade. So, our bad and we promise to do better next time.
But here's the thing: if it seems a bit David and Goliath-ish, that's because there really is a David and Goliath aspect to this mess. Honest.
Consider the attacks on Madonsela. The ANC and its affiliates have gone out of their way to undermine trust in her office. The party's parliamentary caucus has accused her of failing in her legal mandate in a manner that bordered on political posturing. Elsewhere, ANC-aligned lawyers, prosecutors and trade unions intend launching a Durban High Court action to set aside Madonsela's report.
Most objectors point to the fact that the Public Protector must report directly to Parliament and, as Cronin put it, "not particularly second hand, via a media exclusive preview lock-up, a media conference, and much prior leaking and tweeting."
But so what? The report is out, and has been for ten days now. Maybe the government and the ANC should just deal with its contents. But they won't. Shame, but they don't believe that they have, in their flawed leader, a bit of a liability on their hands.
This article first appeared in The Weekend Argus.
Click here to sign up to receive our free daily headline email newsletter
