The village stationer was unusually busy this week, and reported a spike in demand for crayons, coloured pencils and water colours.

This had nothing to do with the start of a new school year, but a rather a sudden urge among the Mahogany Ridge regulars to get in touch with their creative sides -- especially after large amounts of tom had been doled out for paintings of the ANC leadership at a fundraising auction at the party's recent centenary gala event in Durban.

And not one of them with their bits hanging out either. Suck on that, Brett Murray.

True, many of the regulars first had to be convinced that what they were hearing was not a practical joke, that someone really did fork out R1.4-million for a painting featuring President Jacob Zuma, ANC deputy president Cyril Ramaphosa, treasurer-general Zweli Mkhize, chairperson Baleka Mbete, secretary-general Gwede Mantashe and, standing on a box (otherwise just the top of her head would be in the picture), deputy secretary-general Jessie Duarte. A similar painting, featuring the same six heavyweights, was knocked down for R1.3-million.

But ignore, if only for the moment, the outrageous prices. This was after all a fundraiser; at such times one really is overcome by a giddy recklessness, what with the buzzy narcissism and the philanthropic jizz squiffing through the pipes, and market-related propriety, shall we say, does tend to be left at home.

Consider instead the worrying notion that these paintings may actually be put out on display somewhere. I have not seen them, and have no idea what they look like, but there is no denying that they both feature a formidable assemblage of persons. Imagine all those eyes following you around the room. You'd want to hide the family silver if you were brave enough to hang one of them in your front parlour.

I have however seen Charity Begins at Home, the Nelson Mandela portrait that Mineral Resources Minister Susan Shabangu snapped up for R3.7-million, reportedly on behalf of an unnamed "mining magnate".

One art academic, asked for an opinion, told the Daily Maverick that "the portrait is more than just pedestrian and weak; it is utterly corny and completely hideous."

That, I'd argue, is a wee bit harsh. Granted, the work is no better or worse than the usual folksy drek hawked at traffic lights, but the decision by the artist, Sifiso Ngcobo, to place the former president in a field of what appears to be giant mushrooms with an albino octopus under an orange sky does suggest a playfulness that is perhaps absent in other Mandela artworks. 

Shabangu outbid National Federated Chamber of Commerce and Industry president Joe Hlongwane for Charity Begins at Home, but the ANC has decided that his losing R3.5-million bid was, in the words of the party treasurer-general Zweli Mkhize,  "too good to waste", so it wants to commission a similar work, presumably to be titled Expediency Also Begins at Home, for Hlongwane.

See? Everyone's a winner. Even Ngcobo, who may even be paid for bashing out a copy of his earlier work.

The real money, though, is not in art but in business. As Zuma pointed out at the auction: "We're not forcing people ... you can support and be a supporter, but if you go beyond that and become a member, [and] if you're a businessman, your business will multiply. Everything you touch will multiply. I've always said that a wise businessperson will support the ANC ... because supporting the ANC means you're investing very well in your business."

Jackson "Slugger" Mthembu, the ANC spokesman, has had a lot to say to those who've taken a dim view of the president's message, particularly the Democratic Alliance's allegedly un-African parliamentary leader, Lindiwe Mazibuko, and suggested that what Zuma really meant was that "if someone gives you something, in return you thank him/her and wish them prosperity and abundance."

Here at the Ridge, however, our interpretation remains this: scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.

Look at it this way. Yesterday, the Mail&Guardian reported that a R1.25-billion contract to supply electricity meters to the City of Johannesburg had been manipulated to benefit Edison Power, a company owned by Vivian Reddy, a Durban businessman who reportedly paid R450 000 for a table at the ANC bash. Clearly, by supporting the ANC, Reddy has invested very well in his business. Significant multiplication has taken place here.

And this is the point: when it comes to portraits of Mandela, the only ones that matter are those that are on the folding money.

This article first appeared in the Weekend Argus.

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