I am told that the greatest power that we humans have is the ability to detach our self-worth from desired outcomes. That once we do something and are able to dissociate our egos from what the outcome may be, we become powerful creators of endless possibilities of the future. We free ourselves from that which limits our unlimited potential.
The problem is that we have not recognised this power within us, so we go along hoping and stressing for a desired outcome and when it does not turn out in line with our expectations, we become anxious, depressed, defensive, irrational and erratic.
As the German author, Ekhart Tolle puts it in his book, The Power of Now; "When we identify with a mental position or a desired outcome, then if we are wrong, our mind-based sense of self is seriously threatened with annihilation. Our ego cannot afford to be wrong. To be wrong is to die. Wars have been fought over this, and countless relationships have broken down."
And yet, the ego is merely a false self, created by unconscious identification with the mind. The ego is very vulnerable and insecure, and it sees itself as constantly under threat. It feels vulnerable and threatened and so lives in a state of fear and want.
Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external things. It needs to be both defended and fed constantly. The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, social status and recognition, power and control.
At most times we do all we can to satisfy our egos, even when it is apparent that we will not achieve the desired outcomes. We hold onto things, positions and ideas and we justify it in our own minds by believing that we are indispensible, invincible and in control; yet it is through this false concept that we destroy not only ourselves, but the possibility of preserving that good that we may have done.