THERE seems to be consensus among the chattering classes that Parliament is enjoying something of a renaissance and that the presence of Julius Malema's Economic Freedom Fighters in the National Assembly has reenergised a dull and moribund public institution.

The thinking goes something like this. The vibrancy Parliament enjoyed in the Nelson Mandela years lost its sparkle and fizz in the Thabo Mbeki era. Then came Jacob Zuma's presidency and the place was all but brain-dead. But now, with Malema and chums as MPs, Parliament has, as one commentator put it, "sprung back to life" and is exciting and dynamic once more.

I'm not exactly sure I buy that. It is true that the EFF are punching above their weight in getting media attention - but they do so for all the wrong reasons. They have captured our gaze not because of their policies - that is if, indeed, they have any - but rather because they're a bunch of neo-fascist clowns.

There has been much in the way of waffle that Malema understands the power of symbolism. Look, say the learned and erudite, he has ensured that the poor and the vulnerable and wretched of the earth will be able to identify with his party because of his constant reference to the Marikana massacre, the Nkandla security upgrades scandal, and deputy president Cyril Ramaphosa's expensive buffalo and, above all, the cri de coeur about economic freedom.

None of which seems to concern the ruling party as much as the EFF wardrobe does. According to Professor Raymond Suttner, such antipathy is understandable. "In entering parliament in boiler suits and overalls they followed a long tradition of political agitation, through using imagery to convey their message. By adopting the colour red they appropriated associations with the blood of workers, as well as the colour historically linked with socialists and communists."

In doing so, the EFF claim to represent the ANC's own constituency - and this is what is so galling, and possibly explains the thinking behind the bans on the red overalls in provincial legislatures - rulings that seem especially ludicrous as the overalls are permitted in the National Assembly. 

Such spiteful pettiness has now backfired. On Tuesday, Malema and his "victimised" goons stormed into the Gauteng legislature in response to that stupid, cack-handed business earlier this month in which EFF MPLs were forcibly removed from a sitting for dressing like members of the notorious Red Ant security services. 

Richard Calland, author of The Zuma Years, believes the ruling party may yet "recover its senses and figure out a way to sort out the EFF". He suggested, in Friday's Mail & Guardian, that the ANC should smother Malema and company "with love, not violent disdain". 

Easier said than done, I'm afraid. If you're going to smother Malema with anything, you're going to need a lot of it. He is a big guy, and he's getting bigger all the time. As for love, well . . . he is, frankly, the most unloveable of all our politicians: a delusional bully, prone to violent mood swings, probably schizoid and, perhaps worst of all, a fan of house music with aspirations to being a DJ.

To be fair, ANC secretary-general Gwede Mantashe did try very hard to smother him with love. This was back when Malema was president of the ANC Youth League and the ruling party hadn't yet realised he was some kind of Mussolini in the making. 

The party had wanted Malema to attend anger management classes and apologise for criticising Zuma. But, as he told the M&G's Verashni Pillay in a rather forthright interview ahead of the EFF's first anniversary celebrations this weekend, "I've never had a temper problem. I've never gone to those things Gwede wanted to take me to anger management what what."

So, that temper was under control? "If you sit with me at a personal level," he replied, "you are going to kiss me on my forehead. You will say, ‘This not the person we are always told about, [that] he is a monster, and he is going to be Hitler.' I'm the sweetest guy. I'm the coolest guy."

And the most modestest as well. 

But how then does anyone solve a problem like Malema? Perhaps the best thing would be to do nothing. Ignore him and his party. Above all, let them wear funny hats and dress like Teletubbies. The EFF is, like the Congress of the People before it, an offshoot of the ruling party. And like Cope, there is a very good chance that it will implode all by itself.

The bar is not very high here - this is politics, after all - but Parliament may be quite the wiser for it.

This article first appeared in the Weekend Argus.

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