THE race to set moral standards for others is usually won by the windbag. That's how it is with hypocrites - they're the first among bigots to loudly trumpet their indignation at what they take to be vice as a rare, higher form of virtue.

This week the ruling party fell over themselves in attacking an Adult World store because it was near Parliament. Stone Sizani, the ANC chief whip, led the charge, arguing that Parliament has many visitors, including children, religious people and tourists, and shops that sell porn films and erotic material may discourage them from popping in. 

But, as the Mahogany Ridge regulars could tell you, there is certainly no reason why visitors couldn't take in the dubious delights of both Parliament and the smut shop all in one outing, especially as they are conveniently so close to one another. If, as Sizani has intimated, moral sensibilities are of concern, then perhaps children should be kept away from Parliament. Politicians are a notoriously reprehensible bunch - and the ANC caucus is no exception.

Its spokesman, Moloto Mothapo, meanwhile had quite a wobbly himself when it came to expressing outrage in this petty matter. It was almost as if he was trying to out-whip the chief whip in a bid for the Hysterical Nanny floating trophy.  

"If you say yes to this shop, what's going to happen next?" he told one journalist. "There's going to be strip clubs opening, you're going to have shebeens opening, prostitutes can come and do their business in the streets of Parliament. You don't want a situation whereby it might result in a Sodom and Gomorrah." 

My goodness, as a great aunt may have put it, but with such a fevered, prurient imagination it's best Mothapo keeps his hands where we can see them. And let's not remind him that there are already a number of established strip clubs and licenced taverns within a stone's throw of Parliament. He's already in a highly excitable state as it is, and we wouldn't want any accidents or unfortunate incidents.  

For their part, the Adult World franchise has politely explained that it's a legal business and that laws that prohibited the adult entertainment industry were repealed by an ANC government.  Their warning, however, against "apartheid-era censorship" may prove fruitless - especially if Chief Justice Mogoeng Mogoeng has his way. 

Addressing a seminar in Stellenbosch on Wednesday, the ultra-conservative Mogoeng told his audience: "I believe that we can only become a better people if religion could be allowed to influence the laws that govern our daily lives starting with the Constitution of any country." In a nutshell, then, a little Jesus in our lives and, presto, an end forthwith to murder, adultery, fornication, corruption, cheekiness, dishonesty, provocative clothing and whatever other evils bedevil our "pluralistic" society.

This sort of thinking would be terrifying if Mogoeng was merely a lowly prosecutor in a rural magistrate's court. But he's not. He's the Chief Justice of the Constitutional Court. It beggars belief that a man in his position could . . .  

Actually, not really. When he was interviewed for the position, Mogoeng told the Judicial Service Commission that God had green-lighted him for the job. As alarm bells go, that one was pretty ding-dong, if you ask me.

It's been a generally horrendous month for religion and the law. First, there was the kidnapping and sale of the Nigerian girls by Boko Haram, which claimed it was acting out in accordance with sharia law. Ditto the Sultan of Brunei's new penal code, which from next year, will see homosexuals put to death for having anal sex. 

Then there's the case of Meriam Ibrahim, the 27-year-old Sudanese woman who has been sentenced to 100 lashes for adultery and death by hanging for apostasy. She was raised a Christian, and had married a Christian man - but because her father had been a Muslim, she was therefore one too. Her marriage, which took place in Khartoum in 2011, has been annulled. This week she gave birth to a daughter while shackled on the floor of her cell. Her execution is set to take place in 2016.

Now I realise Mogoeng professes to be a Christian - he reportedly spends his Sundays as a lay preacher with the cash-rich Pentecostal Willing Chapel, a franchise that has its roots in Nigeria - and these other horrors are perversions of Islam.

But the point is this: whatever the faith, these are not God's laws. There are no such things. These are the laws of men - and deranged, power-mad men at that. They should not have a hold on our lives, just as God should not be in our Constitution.

This article first appeared in the Weekend Argus.

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