As we are all aware South Africa is now caught up in a glorious and determined drive to rid our society of all vestiges of our colonial heritage.
Brave champions of this campaign have even risked their health by smearing human faeces on statues honouring the memory of those colonial swines who arrived here uninvited and stole the country from its indigenous owners who, of course, had previously stolen it from its earlier indigenous owners.
The faeces smearers are quite right! To hell with colonialist bloodsuckers! Let us revert to the noble ways of our ancestors, thus winning their approval.
As the great Jacob Zuma has repeatedly reminded us, our ancestors and God are on the side of the ANC and it thus can never lose and will rule until Jesus returns. What other party anywhere can make this claim?
Back to the hated colonial heritage. It must go. There is no debate to be had.
Let us commence with sport. To paraphrase Karl Marx on religion, soccer is the opium of the masses. Instead of attending party rallies our people turn out in their millions to support soccer teams.