Where is it written -- we were thinking, here at the Mahogany Ridge -- that it is mandatory for executives and other busy people to take time out from whatever it is they're doing and respond to a summons from the ruling party? Is it out of courtesy, or is it terror that compels the corporates to drop everything at a moment's notice and nip off to Luthuli House for a frightful bollocking? 

Had he so wished, could FNB chief executive Sizwe Nxasana have rejected ANC secretary general Gwede Mantashe's invitation to drop by yesterday, and given him the sort of brush-off we'd no doubt receive had we asked the banker to swing past the Ridge so we could touch him for a loan?

But meet they did. Mantashe had his delegation, and Nxasana his. To have been, as they say, a fly on that wall. Did the bankers struggle to keep a straight face as Mantashe and company detailed yet again their objections to people who speak their mind, and those whose opinions differ to theirs?

Who could blame them for any nervous laughter. If his reckless comments following the Amplats retrenchment announcement were anything to go by, then it is clear that Mantashe has very little grasp of how things work out there in the big world. It should not have been at all surprising, least of all to the ANC and government, that in the face of massive strikes and the global slump in the price of platinum, Amplats would want to cut back on production and lay off workers. 

The mineral resources minister, Susan Shabangu, was bad enough; outraged, she darkly hinted that Amplats could lose their mining licences -- although President Jacob Zuma told investors at the World Economic Forum at Davos that a review of the company's licences was not on the cards.

But Mantashe took it way further, and threatened to "auction off" any shafts that Amplats mothballed. He told SAfm, "They have stolen our money. They are a British company now. They have a responsibility to talk to South Africa on the operations." 

He later denied his remarks had contributed to the rand's weakening against the dollar -- and even gamely suggested this wasn't such a bad thing. "The rand is weaker now," he told Eyewitness News, "which is good for mining in the sense that it has actually increased the rand price of platinum."

He had no regrets about his behaviour. "It can't be correct," he said, "for society to protect the owners and the reckless dealing with workers." Which may certainly be the case, especially in the mining sector, but why then has government kept mum about Harmony Gold's plans to retrench 6 000 workers? Could their silence have something to do with the fact that Harmony's Patrice Motsepe is a substantial contributor to the party?

No matter. Clearly the post-Mangaung business-friendly ANC does not exist. It is very much the same old, same old; don't do anything we don't like, okay, else you get whacked.

And so it is with this FNB nonsense. Frankly, it's embarrassingly mawkish, crassly exploitative and, like most commercials, an insult to intelligent people everywhere. But it is not treason.

That child claiming, to the swell of cheesy strings, that she was born "from the very roots of Limpopo, in the greatest country in the world"? What was that all about? Did she not know that it is Estonia or very probably Denmark that is tops?

It is a pity that, thanks to the ANC's objections, the best bits of this campaign have been pulled from the bank's website. Judging by ANC spokesman Keith Khoza's comments, these clips deserved a wider audience.  

Khoza was quite annoyed with one girl, Tiara, who said, "Stop voting for the same government in hopes for change -- instead, change your hopes to a government that has the same hopes as us."

Then there was the teenager who had a go at basic education minister Angie Motshekga. "Can you imagine," Khoza told the Mail&Guardian, "a 16-year-old calling a mother, who is also a minister, brainless?" He had a point. What the child should have said was that the basic education minister, Angie Motshekga, did in fact have a brain -- she just wasn't using it. 

However, we got the drift. So did Motshekga.

Why children shouldn't be allowed to speak their minds is beyond me. But the ANC appear convinced that, by bullying the bank, they've dealt with Tiara and her lippy, future voter friends rather effectively. 

It is something of a paradox that the ANC is so quick to resort to censorship. They, of all people, should realise what a bloody futile exercise that is.

This article first appeared in the Weekend Argus.

Editor's note: Due to deadlines, the piece was written before the ANC and FNB released their joint statement after their meeting at Luthuli House.

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