THE citizens of Mzansi are some of the most politics-obsessed people in the world, with our only competition maybe those Americans.

Everyone, of course, loves to copy the things those Yanks do, but we are better at it than most.

Remember how everyone suddenly started talking about things like the Zuma or Mbeki “administrations”? That’s what happens when these kids today learn journalism by watching CNN. Anyway, we have now also started copying the cycle of innocent statement, outrage and apology the Americans are so fond of.

How it works is that you say something innocent and not really controversial, but some intellectual liberal types get very upset and call you all sorts of names.

They are the worst sort of bullies, really, even trying to get people fired from their jobs for not using the right word to refer to this or that oppressed group.

You then have to go on TV shows and say sorry a million times, and explain how you really love whatever group they decided you offended.

Only then can you go back to being a respectable citizen, your guilt washed away by this ritual of public penance. It’s almost like a religious thing, which is sort of weird, because these types of people usually aren’t big fans of religion.

There were two good examples of this sort of kak in Mzansi in the past week. The first was when all the self-important and self-appointed guardians of what we’re allowed to say freaked out over Allister Sparks’s speech at the DA leadership conference.

The veteran journalist said Verwoerd was a smart politician. That’s not really a controversial thing to say. No one has ever thought Verwoerd was dumb or stupid. If he was, he wouldn’t have been able to reach the top of government and get so many people to go along with his evil plans.

Also, everyone who knows anything about Sparks knows he didn’t mean to praise Verwoerd. The man dedicated his entire professional life to fighting everything Verwoerd stood for!

But the bullies saw their chance, and swooped down like bloodthirsty vultures. Never mind that Sparks didn’t really say anything that any ordinary person on the street would have a problem with. He had to explain himself and apologise before he’d be allowed back in respectable company.

It’s all about bowing down to the tiny tribe of bullies, so they can remind everyone how powerful they are.

So, these vultures had barely cleaned their beaks and claws when they smelled blood again. This time their target was DA’s newly-elected leader, Mmusi Maimane. He was accused of being homophobic for including homosexuals in the ranks of sinners while speaking at his church.

Once again, I don’t think that was a very controversial statement. Most churches say homosexuals are sinners. In fact, they say we’re all sinners. It would be weirder if Maimane had said they’re not! But the bullies went crazy, especially on Twitter. I don’t use Twitter, but the way it’s dominated by these holier-than-thou fools, especially in Mzansi, is one reason I don’t.

To keep his political career alive, Maimane had to come out and say he loved gays and supports gay rights. This is funny, when you think about it.

Here’s a politician who says something that the vast majority of voters would agree with, but he’s forced to say sorry and take a position unpopular with probably 90% of this country’s population.

Does it make any sense at all? We talk about democracy and the will of the people, but success as a politician depends on pleasing small groups of loudmouths than the masses of voters. Have we gone too far when it comes to freaking out over minor utterances, bullies, and tweet (or should that be twit?) society?) Let me know what you think: [email protected]

Until next week, salani kahle!

This article first appeared in the Sunday Sun.