STRANGE reports reach us at the Mahogany Ridge from crusty Kelvin Grove, the Newlands playground of vintage toff totty, the gin-blossomed classes and the elite of Bournemouth.
It was here that Julius Malema launched an alleged "charm offensive" at a Cape Town Press Club function on Thursday and called on his largely white and somewhat aged audience to bankroll opposition political parties in order to prevent the country from collapsing into a one-party state.
Malema was echoing an earlier appeal for donations by Western Cape Premier Helen Zille to bolster the Democratic Alliance's court review into the National Prosecution Authority's 2009 decision to drop corruption charges against President Jacob Zuma on the eve of elections because of possible political interference.
Given that Zille is probably Waspish Kelvin's number one pin-up model, the Economic Freedom Fighters commander-in-chief was always going to win over his audience as he came out to bat 100 percent for the white Madam and her party which had spent about R10m in court battles to get their hands on the tapes.
As he put it, "[Zuma's] troubles are too many. Helen Zille is on his neck with the (spy) tapes, asking for money. Please give her money!
"Democracy must be financed. I am saying because we're meeting here in a building that reflects old money, my suspicion is that there might be some money here and therefore we'll have to tap into those coffers and get some resources, not for EFF but for democracy . . . Let's support parties that are going to give the ANC hell in parliament - for the next five years they must know it's not going to be an easy thing."
Heart-felt words perhaps, but a curiously naive appeal all the same. Kelvin Grove may be, as one newspaper claimed, an "exclusive sports and events venue for Cape Town's high society", but you'll get nowhere asking its members for dosh to give the ANC hell.
This has nothing to do with their feelings about government. It's just that they don't have that much money. Well, certainly not as much as, let's say, many of the President's friends. But what they do have, they want to keep somewhere safe.
There's an old New Yorker cartoon in which this point is driven home with admirable pithiness; a well-heeled banker answers his young son's questions about the cruel world out there: "New money? Well, my boy, that's just old money that has escaped."
In other words, the longer people have money, the less likely they are to throw it away. Even to annoy rotten politicians.
There has, of course, been a fair amount of smirking and knowing glances among commentators ever since the brouhaha last month following Zuma's refusal to answer questions from EFF MPs as to when he would be chipping in towards the R246m spent on security upgrades at Nkandla.
Pay back the money? A bit pot kettle blackish in the name-calling and what have you.
In this regard, it is no secret that Malema is under strain at the moment with regards to his commitments to settling his accounts with SA Revenue Service.
Last month the EFF CIC, who reportedly owes the taxman R16m, made a brief appearance in the Pretoria Hight Court where his provisional sequestration was extended to December 1 and where he told reporters that he would be honouring an agreement with SARS to pay back R4m by the end of the year.
"We have complied with every party of the agreement that we have with SARS," Malema was quoted as saying. "When we appear again in court it will be for the courts to strike the matter off [the roll]. This case is closed and there is no sequestration."
But where is the money coming from? According to Business Day, Malema had claimed that he would have repaid R2.5m by September 1. He had thus four months in which to repay the balance of R1.5m.
While he does pay SARS R30 000 each month from his parliamentary salary, it is quite obvious that he must get his hands on a lot more tom if he is to avoid sequestration and keep his seat in Parliament where - we have been led to believe - the more trouble he makes, the better it would be for all concerned.
We may find out soon enough. MPs had until the middle of August to declare their interests. Of course, if Malema has mysterious benefactors, then SARS would want to know all about them as well - to determine the taxes due on the bailouts to pay the outstanding tax penalties.
It's a nasty business, this tax stuff. Just ask the old money.
This article first appeared in the Weekend Argus.
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