One year later

October 7 is the most tragic day since the Holocaust for Jewish people; as the terror group Hamas invaded Israel, took civilians hostage and declared war on the nation. As a South African journalist living in Israel under the threat of daily attacks and missiles, I have experienced the pain of our people as Israelis have yearned for the hostages to come home. We want peace but the terror groups Hamas, Hezbollah and the Houthis need to turn from doing everything they can to wipe out the state of Israel. This is my story.

I have walked the decimated ruins of Kibbutz Kfar Aza, where time has stood still and the burnt, grenade-riddled, pockmarked walls give testimony to what happened there. I have stood in the control room of Nahal Oz, devastated at the burnt remains where young, female soldiers were incinerated, raped or taken as hostages into Gaza, where they remain.

I have smelt the stench of death. It is an oppressive stink that is hard to describe, but you know it when you smell it. I have sat with the family members of hostages and looked into their sorrowful, exhausted eyes. I have walked the killing fields of the Nova Festival site, where the trees whisper “never forget what happened here”. I almost get the feeling that the trees apologise that they could not protect those that ran and tried to hide from the murderous bullets, rapes and torture that they endured at the hands of the monsters.

I have seen the piles and piles of mangled, burnt cars.  They are the final resting places for their occupants eradicated from this earth by fire and flames. Each car represents a universe.

I have sat with the families of hostages – those we hope are still alive and those who were murdered. I have hugged Nissim Louk, father of Shani Louk, whose body on the back of a Hamas pick-up truck as it was taken into Gaza by cheering terrorists - clothes ripped, a bullet hole in the base of her skull, and her legs bent at a grotesque and unnatural angle - became the image that shocked the world. What do you say to a grieving parent?

I have been into the miguniot (shelters), where frightened revelers tried to hide. These shelters are only designed to protect about 10 people from rocket fire. They became slaughterhouses as 30 to 40 people sought shelter only to be massacred by bullets and grenades – or taken into the terror tunnels below Gaza. There was no shelter in these roadside death traps.

I have attended the shivot for fallen soldiers and stood in a guard of honour, devastated at the loss of life. We yearn for the day we beat our swords into plowshares. I have sat and spoken to those soldiers. Our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers who serve. I know without any doubt that they do everything in their power to preserve civilian lives while defending ours. This fact has been corroborated by the international military experts I have had the privilege of speaking with.

I have seen the footage and visuals that are imprinted on my soul, things that nobody should ever have to see. As journalists we are the recorders of history but nothing prepares you for the depths of depravity and trauma of seeing the evidence of rape, mutilation, murder, kidnappings, beheadings, burnt and decomposing corpses, executed babies and devastated communities.

I have seen it with my own eyes.

It is undeniable – despite the many who engage in denial.

I have reviewed the evidence gathered off the bodies of terrorists. 

The proof of what happened is irrefutable – I have seen it, heard it and smelt it.

I have been a witness to the atrocities – and now you have too.

I have cried more tears than I thought the human body could produce. We all have. I cry for the victims. I cry for us. I cry for the people of Gaza. I cry for the futility of all of it.

The simultaneous, split personality actions of many who both deny and celebrate the atrocities committed against Israel. Antisemitism has always been the oldest and most irrational form of hatred but its latest iteration in the form of rabid anti-Zionist Israelophobia is beyond anything experienced in our generation.

Many deny the atrocities because maybe they have to face up to the murderous genocidal entity they support -  but at the same time celebrate what happened because you know they were just waiting for the opportunity to say “but the Jews had it coming”. Of course, they will swear blind that they love Jews – they just hate Zionists.

Well over 90% of Jews are Zionists. Zionism is the national liberation movement of the Jewish people. It is the realization of the return to our ancient and indigenous homeland. It our right to self-determination and in the modern era, the ability to defend ourselves. Is our audacity of self-defense what really sticks in people’s gullets? I think it is. We have learnt the lessons of history.

Israelis have enormous empathy for Palestinian suffering, contrary to what the media tells you. We do not want to see innocents suffering. This war of wars that Hamas forced on both our people is hopefully the last. Israel recently marked four years of the historic Abraham Accords.

It is our stubborn hope that in time our Palestinian neighbours will join the circle of peace. Before this happens, both sides have a lot of healing to do. The “social justice” warriors outside of Israel who call for the Jewish state to be boycotted or exterminated “from the river to the sea” impede any chances of peace and healing.

The calendar tells me that it has been a year – but for us it has been 365 7 Octobers. We will never be the same people who went to bed on 6 October. How could we be? We will emerge stronger, braver and tougher. We will thrive as the generations before us have done. We will grow and we will rebuild our shattered communities. This is our victory.