When ANC Youth League Leader Julius Malema was disciplined by the ANC last year for unruly behaviour, he was ordered to attend an anger management course. It doesn't appear that he did, or otherwise it was a complete failure as proved by various Malema outbursts since.
Most people don't take the issue of anger seriously, but I think this is a mistake. We are a society with high levels of anger. You see it on our roads where rage incidents happen frequently. You see it in violence within families, particularly against women and children. So there is actually a lot to be said for anger management.
Personally, I can attest that in every instance where I have allowed anger to boil over into spoken words I have regretted it later. It's an unseemly lack of control that is not pretty to watch and rarely contributes to a constructive outcome.
There are a number of techniques that can be learned to control anger. Empathy helps, as you imagine what you would do in the other person's shoes. That pesky beggar at the traffic lights? Consider what life tragedy lies behind his present deplorable state. That push cart waste-recycler blocking the road? At least he's working hard to earn very little.
Even the taxi driver who cuts in front. How would you behave if you were on the road all day for R2000 a month, worrying about feeding and clothing your family? It's humbling to think that "there for the grace of God go I".
The world would truly be a better place if we all tried to put the kindliest interpretation on the annoying actions of others. Who knows, our calm response may elicit better behaviour in return. Forgiveness is another virtue that controls anger by letting go of unproductive bitterness and resentment.
This aspect of Nelson Mandela's life has made him a world icon, celebrated with good deeds every year on his birthday. Direct communication is also useful. We should make our points clearly and listen properly to what the other person has to say. We should examine our own behaviour, being willing to admit when we ourselves are wrong.
Gratitude for what one has is another ennobling element that should prevent one from flying off the handle at the slightest provocation. Anger should be our inner teacher. We should learn from it so as to increase the self-mastery that is the essence of civilised behaviour. But does all this mean that we should never be angry at injustice or wrong-doing?
I remember that this is what got me into politics in the first place. I felt passionately that apartheid was wrong and needed to be fought. Anger was part of the motivation of all those who fought apartheid in this country.
But mature leadership on both sides ensured that violence was sufficiently contained to enable a negotiated settlement that has benefited everybody. Anger is like salt - in small amounts it enhances, but too much can spoil.
I prefer the term indignation, but this must be energising and directed towards a solution. If we all work on refining our individual characters, then step by step we will have a better society.
Jack Bloom MPL, is DA Leader in the Gauteng Legislature. This article first appeared in The Citizen.
Click here to sign up to receive our free daily headline email newsletter
