TOPIC: J'ACCUSE - OPEN LETTER TO FRENCH PRESIDENT FRANCOIS HOLLANDE.
Dear President Francois Hollande.
I refer to your presidential visit to South Africa this week.
Firstly, for the sake of transparency, let me declare upfront my interest in what I am about to write about you: I do not welcome your visit to South Africa this week. In fact, I am totally opposed to it. I really think your visit is ill-advised. I truly think your French policy towards Africa stinks to high heavens. If I had the power, you would not set your feet in my country, and if you did, as you are going to, I would throw you into the sea to be swallowed by a whale, like biblical Daniel, to take you back to Normandy beach, in the hope that such a marine experience would so frighten you, that you would never want to visit Africa again, at least as long as you remain French president.
In a word, you are really not welcome to visit SA, Mr. President, at least in my book.
In fact, if I really had Superman's powers, I would declare you persona non grata (PNG) across the whole of Africa. If, like a believer in Hinduism, I could choose what to be reincarnated into in my afterlife today, in time for your visit this week to my country, I would reincarnate myself as former American president Monroe, and declare the Monroe Doctrine over all of Africa, to prevent your types from ever abusing and taking for granted our beloved, ancient African continent again.