I WAS, until very recently, unaware of the existence of Return on Innovation (ROI), a global intelligence organisation that monitors news and social media. However, the surprise appearance of the self-confessed hitman Mikey Schultz at the Oscar Pretorius trial on Thursday changed all that.
Schultz is a fearsome individual, the sort of person you'd imagine who overdosed on steroids as a child and was now forever enraged, punching out complete strangers for no reason other than they looked pathetic. Even if you didn't know of his role in the "assisted suicide" of mining magnate Brett Kebble in 2005 - he did the shooting - you'd want to stay well clear of him.
Anyway, Schultz barged into court, telling reporters he was there to support the family of the athlete's slain girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, and allegedly mouthed "F-- you!" to Pistorius's sister, Aimee, causing her to burst into tears.
Schultz later denied this. "That did not happen," he told a radio station. "The Pistorius family are all liars. They (are) the victims once again. The Pistoriuses are clearly a bunch of liars along with Oscar. I did not threaten anybody in court. I came in, I had a seat, I don't know where the allegations come from - they can go back and look at the video footage." Such lamb-like innocence.
Asked why Aimee Pistorius was crying, he said maybe it was because "she realised her brother was going to jail." One caller who was perhaps of the opinion that Schultz should have been there already asked him, "How do you feel as a murderer? You are a disgrace!" Shultz replied on air, "Go f-- yourself."
The world, it seems, really does love a lippy psycho with a neat turn of phrase and ROI duly issued a statement to the effect that, with his charm offensive, Shultz had stolen a "whopping" 30 per cent of Pistorius's usual media and social network coverage in just 24 hours.