My Lord
It's me, your loyal servant. I wish to sincerely apologize for burdening you by writing this letter and adding to your busy schedule. My King, I understand that your schedule, as President of the ANCYL, consists of such important work as busying yourself with sniffing out for those forces of darkness who are baying for your blood; spying on journalists who sleep around with politicians in exchange for information, and ending your week with a huge party where you go down in a circle of women.
Remember, those women you always tease me about, that I must not even look at them because they want someone who can buy them nice things. I know and respect all this, my Lord, and I beg for your indulgence to convey the urgent message from your people, the general membership of the ANCYL.
They have requested me, as your loyal servant, to tell you that they are disappointed and livid with the latest revelations that you own so much wealth and assets as their President, whilst they live in extreme poverty and squalor. I tried to tell them, as your obedient servant, that you have worked very hard for what you have. But they would hear none of it as they say you and hard work are an antithesis, as attested to by your matric results.
They have ordered me to tell you my lord that they are going to nationalize your wealth and assets. I protested that only mines will be nationalized, as you ordered my king. But they said the watch that you wear, the one I always kiss when ever I see you, as a sign of respect to you my king, they say it costs about R 250 000. They say once its nationalized, the proceeds made out of it would go to the education of about 10 students to go and study medicine so that they can add on the small number of doctors in rural provinces like Limpopo.
They also promised to nationalize your Range Rover Sports car. I also protested here that they can't, because when ever I wash it, you always let me sleep in it for a while, just to feel the comfort of its luxury which far exceeds that of my own house, as you once reminded me.