Daily Sun (May 14 2014) - THERE was joy when Dumisani Manqele married his young virgin bride. But just three months later claims of lying are flying. WIFE SILINDILE MAHAYE CLAIMED HIS 4-5 FELL DOWN ON THE JOB! But she said he blamed this on her. And now he wants his lobola back.
Silindile (25) and Dumisani (44) of Eshowe, northern KZN, tied the knot in 2012. But their smiles soon faded. "My husband's 4-5 started being limp three months after we married," said Silindile. "Instead of fixing his problem, he accused me of being the cause. He said a sangoma told him my ex-boyfriend had cursed him and I lied when I said I was a virgin when we met," said Silindile.
"But I never had a boyfriend before him. Everyone in my neighbourhood knows that." Manqele wouldn't share his problem with the People's Paper. "This is a family matter. It shouldn't be discussed with newspapers," said Manqele before hanging up.
Silindile said they met in 2010 and she was still a virgin when they married in 2012. "When we had sex for the first time, my husband believed I was a virgin," she said. "But after three months he told me I was lying."
Silindile said Manqele abused her physically and verbally whenever his 4-5 let them down. "I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on pain tablets, but the family rescued me. I was treated in hospital for two months." Silindile said a family meeting was called after her discharge.
"Manqele demanded I admit I was not a virgin, and that I slaughter a goat to cleanse his family for lying. "I refused, but my father said we should do it to make peace. The cleansing ceremony was performed."
Silindile said she hoped their life would get better. "But instead he was more abusive every day. Early last year, Manqele called another meeting, and told both families he didn't trust me any more. He said I should leave his house and never return. "He said he didn't want his lobola," said Silindile.
But lately Manqele had been calling Silindile's father, Mabala Mahaye (77), allegedly swearing at him and demanding his lobola. Mabala said: "Manqele sent his uncles to ask that I return his lobola. I told his uncles I wouldn't do that as he said he didn't want his lobola back," said Mabala.
"I am an old man. Getting threats from Manqele is making me ill. He traumatised my daughter terribly. The whole family is disturbed by this man," said Mabala.
) Lawyer Mzwandile Tenza said Manqele had no right to demand his lobola back because he chased his wife away. "Manqele is not entitled to amalobola. He should follow the correct procedure. "The couple should first divorce and then everything will be split for both of them. If he harasses the family, they should seek a protection order," said Tenza.
See the Daily Sun mobi site for more on this and other stories....
The Daily Sun is South Africa's largest daily newspaper with an average circulation of 297,614 (Audit Bureau of Circulations 4th Quarter 2013) and a readership of 5.7m (as per AMPS 2012ab). Its Facebook page can be accessed here. It can be followed on Twitter here. To find about advertising on the Daily Sun click here.
Issued through the Politicsweb iService
