A FAMOUSE GROUSE
THANKS a bunch, your Honours, but now that I can use dagga in private, there’s no fun in it anymore. The thrill of the illicit has gone and my devil-worshipping has been reduced to mere gesture, a ritual void of meaning.
I jest, of course. It is only the delusional who truck with Satan these days, and they were out in force following the Constitutional Court’s ruling, muttering darkly of the legislative crises, mental breakdowns and social upheavals lurking in the offing.
We are a terrified nation, it seems, and there was much hysteria on the talk shows as callers blathered on fearfully about children whose parents would now take to cannabis like lemmings, stoned drivers on the roads and, laughably, asset managers not exercising due fiduciary prudence with their clients’ investments.
More soberly, the response from most of the political parties was guardedly neutral. Worryingly, there was talk of “responsible” adult use, which reeked of apartheid’s joyless Calvinism.
Seriously, how do you get responsibly stoned, and is it any fun? The whole point of being off your face is that you regress to adolescence: your brain melts, you eat peanut butter cookies and you giggle at silly videos on YouTube.