I was 41 when I could vote for the first time. I remember that day so well, when I took my 7-year old daughter with me to Wesley Training College (WTC) in Salt River, to make my cross against the iconic logo of the ANC. Julia understood the significance of that day, finding it hard to believe that her mother was excluded from the political process for 23 years of her life simply because of the colour of her skin. In her little mind, she also knew that we had paved the way for her to be able to vote when she would turn 18.
The 27th April 1994 elections meant turning our back on the past and charting a new course with our new constitution as a guide forward. Unlike many of my comrades, I did not expect miracles and wonders, having observed the ANC in all their dubious glory in exile when I studied abroad.
More importantly, having studied Marxism, Leninism, Feminism, labour and global economics, liberation movements and post-colonial societies at the radical Institute for Social Studies in Holland, I just knew that the road ahead would not be as hunky dory as many ordinary people, academics, and the business elite were wont to believe - many who dumped me for asking critical questions since day one of our democracy.
I knew we would f...ck up. I just did not know that we would f...ck up so badly. I expected more from President Mbeki, someone who lived and studied abroad. I expected him to have imbibed enough of Western democracy and its flaws, to take South Africa into an enlightened post-liberation era. Mouthing all the right sentiments - the African Renaissance, New Partnership for Africa's Development, Accelerated and Shared Growth Initiative-SA - these initiatives were not enough to catapult us into the global economy, an a par with other emerging democracies.
Mbeki's ideas failed because of their gross misalignment with the ANC's Leninist style of centralized political leadership based on antiquated notions of the National Democratic Revolution, African nationalism, cadre deployment, and the tripartite Alliance. The politics of cooptation and a visceral intolerance for opposition became so much more pronounced under President Zuma's disheveled style of governance, creating splits in the ruling party, leading to the formation of the populist EFF, and the trade union alliance (not necessarily bad for democracy).
Moving his power base from Gauteng and the Eastern Cape to KwaZulu-Natal, Zuma's moves exemplified a profound tribal shift in his style of governance. Ruling from Nkandla rather than the Union Buildings symbolized profound changes in styles of leadership, the constant shuffling of the cabinet, and the appointment of ministers who are profoundly inept, many of them women.