OPINION

Malema's road to EFF-luence for SA

David Bullard writes on the 11th anniversary of our beloved Fighters

OUT TO LUNCH

The EFFers celebrated their eleventh birthday last week in Kimberley. Why Kimberley I wondered bearing in mind that Limpopo is the usual stomping ground for the EFF-luencers. Then the penny dropped. Kimberley is best known for its ‘big hole’ just as VBS is best remembered for its R2.3 billion ‘big hole’. Nobody could possibly accuse Kiddie Amin of not having a wicked sense of humour.

Of course, Kimberley is also famous for being the second city in the world to introduce electric street lighting, a development that worked extremely well for around 125 years until the ruling party at the time found it impossible to guarantee a reliable supply of electricity.

What is most surprising to me though about the EFFers 11th birthday is that neither Julius Malema or Floyd Shivambu seem to have a care in the world. For two guys heavily implicated in a R16 million bank heist I find that remarkable. I also find it remarkable that there has been no attempt to arrest them and that they can sit as members of parliament drawing huge annual salaries and enjoying all the perks of office. ___STEADY_PAYWALL___

I did post a comment last week after John Endres’ ‘Trouble ahead for the left’ column saying that if I chucked a brick through a shop window and helped myself to the goods on display then I would stand a very good chance of being arrested and spending time in a police cell pending my appearance in a magistrates court. In fact, even if I had stolen nothing and just chucked the brick I would almost certainly have been arrested and prosecuted resulting in a criminal record.

Had that been the case I wonder what chance of success I would have had when applying for a job with an annual salary of R1.4 million?

But there are no such worries for the EFFers which is why they can look so cocky and continue to spew their brand of Marxist nonsense and make violent threats against pale skinned investigative journalists. That’s in addition to the racist threats against whites and Indians which go unpunished by our farcical Human Rights Commission.

I do have a modicum of sympathy for the Human Rights Commission when it comes to automatically ruling in favour of Malema though. The names of the commissioners are known and it wouldn’t be too challenging to find out where they live.

The EFF is an openly lawless and violent organisation and so I can’t blame any of the lawyers employed by the HRC for not wanting to put either themselves or their families at risk should the ‘ground force’ of the EFF be instructed by the commander in chief to pay them an instructive visit.

The EFF have plenty of previous form where this is concerned having paid instructive visits to Clicks, H&M (where they joyfully trashed various stores) and a Brackenfell school where they met with some resistance. As far as I am aware there were no repercussions for any of these acts of vandalism.

So what exactly does the EFF stand for now it has reached its eleventh birthday? Is it finally going to grow up and make a significant contribution to South Africa? Or is it going to be given political puberty blockers to make sure that it continues to behave like an angry child with learning difficulties for the next eleven years?

On past form it’s a pretty safe bet that the idiocy will continue because the EFF simply don’t have any idea how to create anything positive. They can only destroy. Consider the seven pillars of the party manifesto ahead of the last election.

a.  Expropriation of South Africa’s land without compensation for equal redistribution in use.

The problem with the EFF is that they aren’t too sharp when it comes to history or reality. To listen to them preach you would think that South Africa was the only country in the world that had ever been invaded or colonised. The reality is that most countries have been colonised and there are only about a dozen that haven’t.

The reasons for that vary. The harsh reality is that when a country is invaded either the invaders are repelled by the inhabitants or else the conquered surrender to their new masters and hope for the best.

Most of what we take for granted in the world, be it architecture, medical progress or agriculture would not exist had countries not been ‘invaded’ over the past three thousand years. Africans migrated south from the north of the continent over centuries seeking a better life. So who does the land belong to? Certainly not the EFF….. yet.

b.  Nationalisation of mines, banks and other strategic sectors of the economy, without compensation.

This should sit really well with the shareholders and send a strong message to foreign investors. In your dreams Juju. And do you have any experience of running a bank…. other than into the ground?

c.  Building state and government capacity, which will lead to the abolishment of tenders.

That’s gone really well over the past 30 years hasn’t it so we would have no qualms about you guys taking the reins. And obviously you wouldn’t need tenders if you had already secured for yourself complete control of building and infrastructure.

d.  Free quality education, health care, houses and sanitation.

Free as in the teachers won’t be paid, the doctors won’t be paid and houses and sanitation cost nothing to maintain. Instead they will be planting magic money trees all over the country.

e.  Massive protected industrial development to create millions of sustainable jobs, including the introduction of minimum wage(s) in order to close the wage gap between the rich and the poor, close the apartheid wage gap and promote rapid career paths for Africans in the workplace.

But since everything will be free why would you need to create jobs and pay wages? You only need to do that in backward capitalist countries like the USA.

f.  Massive development of the African economy and advocating for a move from reconciliation to justice on the entire continent.

Great idea Juju. But will everything also be free throughout the rest of Africa as it will in South Africa. Suppose those pesky Kenyans don’t play ball and want to be paid actual money?

g.  Open, accountable, corrupt-free government and society without fear of victimisation by state agencies.

About the only sensible pillar there is. So, why don’t Julius and Floyd practice what they are preaching and hand themselves over to the Hawks to usher in this golden age of “corrupt-free” government?

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I’m going to miss Joe Biden on the world stage; particularly those moments when he is gently led off stage by his wife at a convention and looks at her with an expression that says ‘just remind me, I know you from somewhere’.

But as someone who completely forgets why he has gone into a room what he is supposed to be looking for I am in no position to mock cognitive impairment. In fact, the sooner big Pharma come up with senility blockers the better.

Fortunately US politics will not be without its regular moments of hilarity if the contest in November is between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. Both have fine reputations for mangling the English language and Harris’s laugh is, as they say in the US, ‘something else’.

Quite what Putin and Xi Jinping make of all this we may never know but I don’t think they will be quaking in their boots at the threat of US hegemony, particularly if Kamala Harris becomes president.

Interestingly Harris has been described both as ‘black’ and as ‘African-American’ in press reports. Her skin is the same shade as mine, her father is from Jamaica and her mother is from India, neither of which are very close to Africa either geographically or culturally. But apparently these details don’t matter when it comes to what are known as ‘diversity appointments’.